Christmas Shopping

In a court, a judge asks a culprit.
Judge: Tell me, what are you being presecuted for?
Culprit: I was doing my Christmas shopping too early.
Judge: But that's not a crime. How early were you
             doing your Christmas shopping?
Culprit: I were doing that before the store opened.

"timeless"

timeless (adjective)

- not appearing to be affected by the passing of time or by changes in fashion

Their work have a timeless quality.

""stupefy"

stupefy (verb)

- to surprise or shock sb

She was stupefied with the weather in Europe.

etc.

 etc - end of thinking capacity

The Secret to Remembering Vocabulary

Check this one out, guys! :)

"implore"

implore (verb)

- to ask sb to do sth in an anxious way because you want or need it very much

She implored him to stop playing the music.

A Minute Job

A dentist is trying to pull out the patient's tooth. While doing his job, his patient asks:

Patient: How long will you pull my tooth out?
Dentist: Don't worry, it will take a minute for me
              to pull your tooth out.
Patient: And how much will it cost me?
Dentist: Just $100.
Patient: For a minute job?!
Dentist: If you prefer, I can pull it out for one hour.

"sinecure"

sinecure (noun)

- a ob that you are paid for even though it involves little or no work

Although we all thought the job as a sinecure, William took his position seriously and always worked late into the evening.

"absent-minded"

absent-minded (adjective)

- tending to forget things, perhaps because you are not thinking about what is around you, but about sth else

My friend's becoming absent-minded since he got crash yesterday.

"not get/have a wink of sleep"

not get/have a wink of sleep (idiom)

- to not be able to sleep

I didn't get a wink of sleep because I saw a shadow in the kitchen last night.

A ticket for what you think

A police stopped a man on the street.

Police :Hey! You were speeding.
Man   : No, I wasn't.
Police : Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man   : Hey! I was driving just fine.
Police : You can tell that to the judge.
Man   : Would you give me another ticket if I called
             you a jerk.
Police : Yes, you would.
Man   : What if I thought that you were a jerk?
Police : I cannot give you a ticket for what you think.
Man   : I think that you are a jerk.

"speeding"

speeding (noun)

- the traffic offence of driving faster than the legal limit

The man was fined $200 for speeding.

"pamper"

pamper (verb)

- to take care of sb very well and make them feel as comfortable as possible

Pamper yourself with our new range of relaxation treatments.

"reign"

reign (verb)

- to be the best o most important in a particular situation or area of skill

He still reigns in the field of classical music.

"affluent"

affluent (adjective)

- having a lot of money and a good standard of living

Many people dream about affluent life in Indonesia.

What's happened with me, Doc?

A woman comes to a doctor and complains:

Woman: Doc, please help me! When I touch
                my head, it hurts. Then, when I touch
                my stomach, it hurts. The same thing
                also happens when I touch my leg.
Doctor  : I know what has happened to you.
Woman: What's happened with me, Doc?
Doctor  : You have a broken finger.

"fulsome"

fulsome (adjective)

- too generous in praising or thanking sb, or in saying sorry, so that you do not sound sincere.

She was fulsome in thanking her classmate for sharing the workbook together.